Learning to Love Alone

In our romantic relationships (current or future) we must learn to love even when we’re not being loved.

I once read a quote in the beginning of a book that said,“ few have the courage to love alone.” This quote speaks to the fact that in our courting and dating relationships we may find it easy to love those who love us. How much courage does a being need in order to love those who love them? When that special someone is being caring, kind and loving to you, how easy is it to go on loving them right back?

But what happens when they stop being caring and kind, do you stop loving? Jesus said, “For if you love those who love you what reward is there for that? Do not even the tax collectors do the same.But it takes courage to love when we are not being loved in return. Learning to love alone is the heart of true love and the lifeblood of Agape love. Unconditional love.

The world we live in teaches us that love must be earned and that we should only be nice and caring to those who are nice and caring to us. This is not the truth. I want to challenge us to break this cycle of conditional love. Let’s break this yoke that tells us our love and actions must be based on someone else’s love and actions towards us. Break the cycle and set your love free . Your love for someone else should not be dependent on their love for you.

The world seems to operate on an unwritten relationship code: If someone is not treating you the way you feel you deserved to be treated then we should leave them for someone else. There’s this idea that you should only be as kind to someone as they are to you. Right, only give them as much as they are giving you. Only text them as much as they are texting you. Only apologize if they apologize to you. Only love them as much them as they are loving you!!! Brothers and sisters this not how God intended love to be. Love should not be bound in chains of dependence, imprisoned by the actions of others. Break the cycle, set your love free.

This mentality creates a cycle of dependent love, of conditional love.  But love was always designed to be unconditional. This false code limits the true power of the love that God has breathed into us. Your love for others should not be dependent on their love for you.

“God demonstrates his own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). Christ sets the example of true love, independent love, of unconditional love. Jesus loved us even when we didn’t love him, showing us that our love for others should not depend upon their love for us.

Understand that during the course of your courting and dating relationship things are going to happen. There may come a time when he or she fails to love you like they used to, but you must not allow your love to fail them. There may be days, weeks or even months where he or she starts acting nasty, rude, and mean towards you. All relationships go through hard times, all. But will you give up? Will you start looking for an exit? Will you stop loving?

There may be times where school, work, or family issues take priority of your special someone’s attention. You may be neglected for a time or season, this is life. But will you stop loving because they stopped not loving you?  Or will you press towards the mark, and show others the unconditional love that God has surely shown you.

Brothers and sisters if we continue to walk in this cycle of conditional love then we will only be able to show them as much love as they are showing us. One hiccup in the relationship one dry season could be the end a beautiful union, unless we have the strength and courage to love in a season where our love is not being returned. This is why it is so important for us to learn to love even when we are not being loved.

You must be able to say sorry to them even when they are not saying sorry to you. You must be able to encourage them even when they are not encouraging you. You must learn to love them even when they are not loving you. You must learn to hold them even when they don’t hold you back. Break the cycle and set your love free. Learn to love them even when they are not loving you, and your relationship will stand the test of time.

Grace and peace

-Joseph Jeremiah


There’s a difference between loving someone and being in love. Being in love is all about how you feel – sheltering those galaxy shattering emotions in a fragile heart.

Just looking at that special someone and thinking Wow”. Those nights spent lying awake at night with those favorite love songs on repeat, completely amazed by the feelings running through your chest. When you haven’t seen them for a while and you’re getting ready for date night. Everything you wear and everything you do is just to catch a glimpse of that look in their eyes when they first behold you. You would do anything to make them feel special, give everything just to help them understand how deep your affection runs.

No flaws are seen, your beloved is perfect – their smile, that laugh. Ahh….love the most powerful emotion, the most captivating feeling a human being can experience.  All the poems, songs, books and movies based solely on this one life changing concept. Love, or shall I say “in love” to be more precise. I am not knocking the feeling, I love the feeling. I do. But I have learned that there is a great deal more to love thing than emotions and feelings.

Loving someone – no longer is it about how you feel or what you say, but more about what you do. Loving someone means giving when you’re tired, showing patience when you’re stressed and being vulnerable even when you’re scared. Loving someone is about putting others first and yourself second.

Love forgives in an instant and forgets all past wrongs. Love gives all without asking for anything in return. Love is willing to fight, willing to struggling, willing to endure – eternal. Love is not proud, cannot be proud. For pride is the mortal enemy of Love, they cannot coexist

True love takes great strength, and requires much courage. True love will push you to your wildest limits and then ask for more. Truly loving someone will test your heart, challenge your commitment, and change you in ways you never expected.

True Love, something many seek to find. I wonder if the treasure is not so much in the finding, but rather in the giving.

– Joseph Jeremiah